Guy Popham's story

Narrator: I'm going to tell you a story about a boy. The name of this boy is Guy Popham. Now Guy is a little different than most of his peers. Heck, he is almost unable to speak for himself. That is why I was hired to do it for him. It all starts out when Guy was around 10 and was attending a special school for his mental condition. It was at this school that Guy learned valuable skills that would accompany him for the rest of his life. He learned how to hit things (and random strangers) in perfect rhythm thanks to his music instructor. He also learned about his telekinetic powers and learned how to use them to run at super speeds during recess. So you see, Guy was a very happy boy.

Guy: Wait, you forgot to tell them about my adventures.
Narrator: Huh?
Guy: My adventures. With Jill and Mark.
Narrator: Oh yeah. Those silly adventures.

Narrator: Well, Guy had two friends while growing up. Let's see... there was Jill who also had telekinesis. From what I was told, she was very good at changing her form. She could change her appearance at will. And then there was Mark, who was very good at gambling. You see, Mark's father was a blackjack dealer at a casino and a drunk. During the times when Mark's father was drunk, Mark would get his father to teach him a few things about gambling. Mark would then pass on his knowledge to his two friends. You can see where this was going. Guy and his friends would gamble illegally during their free time. At first it started with toys and candy, but then after a while, they managed to gamble into getting a steam powered robot...... AHH!!!! I'm not getting paid enough for this.

Guy: D: Please.....Pretty please.
Narrator: Oh, alright. (sigh)
Guy: Yay!
Narrator: How old were you at this point?
Guy: Hmm... 17? 15? Older than when you started?
Narrator: T__T Ok, whatever.

Narrator: This steam powered robot turned out to be a destructive robot as it was not properly programmed. It was very unstable and went on a rampage through the town one night. Unfortunately for Guy, the robot had been programmed to kill his parents because they ran a famous music group. As it turned out, the people who traded the steam powered robot were creating these robots to get rid of music from the world. Eventually, these people would take over the world, electing one of their own to conquer the world.

Guy: ........
Narrator: what?
Guy: O;
Narrator: Damnit. I'll continue anyway, I have other things to narrate today.
Guy: Wahh!!
Narrator: (Continues anyway)

Narrator: After Guy's parents were killed, Guy was adopted by a rich family. This rich family was very strict and made him wear nice clothes everyday. Guy was very sad because he could no longer be with his friends and now had to deal with the fact that his gambling led to his parent's demise. His stay with the rich family didn't last, however. Shortly after he was adopted, Guy started playing music while hallucinating while being in a depressed state. He was playing so loudly that he alarmed the police. The police later came into the house with guns and started shooting people. Guy stopped hallucinating immediately and knew that he had to get out of there or else he would get killed. He used this super speed to get away, but found himself lost after running for about three days.

Narrator: Hey, I have to go now. I was hired to narrate The Animaniacs at 3 o'clock.
Guy: Awwww, but you're almost done.
Narrator: You tell the rest then. I really can't be late for this.
Guy: Pooey. Here you go. (hands over a couple of bills)
Narrator: Good luck on your story. (A car pulls in driven by a foxy lady with enormous boobs. The narrator jumps in, makes out with the foxy, and yells W00t!! as he drives away)

Guy: Umm.. after running, Guy was lost. Like sooooo lost. Guy didn't know where he was or which direction to go. If it wasn't for the floating giraffes, Guy would've not been able to find food. Splooosh! Swimming was fun. Oh. Yeah. I went swimming. The giraffes showed me an awesome hot spring in their homeland. Then they disappeared. Oh. I met this person that likes music. His name is James Ale-Ale... his last name is hard. He told me that he liked my playing of striking objects. He said that he didn't care that playing music was against the law and that he would make money off of it. I thought that was cool so I joined his party. Nanananaaaaaaa! That is my story. Farewell.

Guy bids farewell.